Communication blockers – Dishonesty

There are several things that may cause a disruption during our team meetings. We can call them “communication blockers” and they may attack in doles which makes them more powerful and disruptive. The most common are:

Not being there
Dishonesty
Passivity
Being “over”

When I'm being seen as dishonest?

This is complicated because believe it or not there are few types of dishonesty…

Let’s take an example:

H: "Honey, have you ever cheated on me?"

And possible answers:

B: "No, I've never had a sexual relationship with that woman." - that's direct dishonesty.
B: "Where did you take that question from?" - that's redefinition.
B: Silence - that's passive dishonesty.

Direct dishonesty is when one gives a false answer. In the business environment, it could be when we agree on delivering something we already know we won’t be able to do. Just because we are afraid of the confrontation.
Let’s have that clear – when one promises to deliver and fails despite they did what they could, that’s not being dishonest, it’s just a bit of bad luck or miscalculation in the estimation either of the task or their abilities. Dishonesty is when we know upfront that “this is just not possible” but we reply: “Yes sir”.

Redefinition or indirect dishonesty is when one intentionally (or not) is not answering the question. Instead, one tries to change a subject or answers a question that was never asked. Yes, experienced politics do that, but we may, from time be doing that ourselves intentionally. Of course, if we happen to answer the wrong question because we haven’t understood what is needed it’s not being dishonest, it’s a mistake. But it would still be a redefinition 🙂 from the “formal point of view”.

Silence – may be just a passiveness or may be passive dishonesty. If we withdraw ourselves from the discussion, despite the fact that our body shouts out in a fury that we don’t agree, that may be viewed as passive dishonesty. It depends on what will happen afterward. If one doesn’t agree with the decision made, kept their thoughts to themselves and they’re trying to do what they can to realize the plan – that’s not passive dishonesty. That’s just missed opportunity to verbalize our concerns.
If one kept its opinion to themselves, and haven’t used the opportunity given to raise their doubts but after the agreement was made they do what they can to spike somebody’s guns – that’s passive dishonesty.